Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Since my last post in 2016

Since I posted in 2016, which I'm not sure counts as an actual blog post because it's a link to a post on another blog, then didn't post again until the other night, I have been taking writing classes. Creative writing classes. I'm actually what is called a CREW major at a university in my city, with a minor in history.
I was thirty-three when I started taking these classes, I hoped that I would have my degree by the time I turned forty. I wasn't sure, because I decided not to take out a student loan. I pay for my tuition out of pocket, so I only take one or two classes a semester. I'll be thirty-eight on my next birthday, and I'm taking "third year" writing classes next semester, so I might be able to pull it off. If I can't, then I think I'll finish the program in the year after my fortieth birthday...I think. I might even have something publishable, but who knows.

Monday, February 12, 2018

It's been a long time.

It's been a long time since my last post. I was both lazy and busy with other things, for a long time.
I've been thinking about becoming a freelance writer for a while. Right now, my only income is PWD, or Persons With Disability. It's not much, and it leaves me vulnerable to political agendas, like Michelle Stilwell and her push to end the Bus Pass program. I could write many posts just on her alone. That's how much I hate this woman. But I digress.
I want to supplement my income somehow, in a way that doesn't require me working as a barista or otherwise waiting on people. Nothing wrong with people and "peopling", it's just that I reach my limit quickly. Probably too quickly, and after that it starts to suck. Freelance writing seems to fit that, but all the research that I've done about that, and I've done a little, says that I should start writing a blog.
I have a blog. I've been too lazy to update it for over a year, but I could come back to it. I think I need to update it at least once a week too. I can't remember where I read weekly blogging helps launch freelance writing careers, but I'm pretty sure I saw it somewhere.
Another reason for me to renew my blogging "career": politicians seem to not care about people with disabilities, despite the photos of them kissing wheelchair bound people during election campaigns, and making all kinds of promises that aren't kept. And of course, the masses of people who still think that those who must live on PWD and other types of pensions lead cushier lives than they actually do. Many can barely pay rent and must get their food from food banks. The ones who can supplement what their stipend are fortunate, probably the most fortunate getting PWD.
I would like to help change that. Blogging might go a long way. But who knows.

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Gas and Lighters

One thing about Autism and Asperger's Syndrome: it can take people who have it forever to express their feelings. For example, in my case, I actually have thought that I've forgiven people for things that they've done to me, and have told them so, but later on, I feel intense rage about whatever it was that was done to me. Some examples: Sometime after I moved in with my sister and her room mate, the room mate told me that she "was sick of cleaning up after me" after I got home from work one day. That morning, before I left for work at the job I had, I made myself some poached eggs on toast. Left my dishes in the sink, they were done by the time I got home. Room mate, in all of her "wisdom", thought that me leaving them in the sink was A Very Bad Thing. She was of the strong opinion that I should never, ever, ever leave dishes in the sink, because people who are "special needs" (her words) should never do that. Even though she and my sister did, a lot, there was a different set of rules for me. Because "special needs" people need different rules. After all, if they're allowed to leave dishes in the sink, they're liable to leave them until they're moldy and slimy.
Another one is when the three of us moved from the apartment that I moved into, where they already were living, into a townhouse a few blocks away. I had a few meltdowns, or more likely, one huge one. Because chaos. More to the point, moving house chaos. Once we were all moved in, she confronted me about giving her "attitude". Because people with "special needs" aren't supposed to have meltdowns and give their room mates "attitude". People who actually know anything about Asperger's might wonder what exactly Room mate thought Asperger's was, if she didn't know that many Aspies are likely to have meltdowns if there's too much going on around them and there's no where to go to rest, take a break, whatever.
Now, I wonder if what Room mate actually was doing was gaslighting me, whether she meant to or not.
What else can I call her looking over my shoulder whenever I did...well, anything, and me getting angry about it, and then she would talk about how I needed to go into a group home? Now, I wonder how she thought that could have been accomplished. We were living in Edmonton then, when Alberta's economy was better than good. It was excellent. Group homes were hard to get into then. Now that Alberta's economy is in the crapper, it's probably impossible.
None of this happened recently. It was actually over twelve years ago, probably closer to fourteen. Of course, there's other stuff too, some of it concerning Room mate. Some of it concerning two other people who were luck enough to live with me, and I with them. I'll call them Family member and Family member. But I'll save that for another post. Because blogging.

Saturday, August 8, 2015

It's been a while

For a while now, I've been thinking that I need to get back to blogging. So here I am, blogging.

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Complicated compliments

When I was in my pre-teen to my early twenties, I would sometimes give compliments that were phrased weirdly and were taken as insults; and I had no idea how to explain myself out of the hole that I had somehow gotten myself in.  Sometimes all I would have to do was gush about how I loved the colour of something, and would say something like "I love scarlet," when the colour I was talking about was really cherry (or some other colour that was one or two shades lighter or darker than scarlet) and someone within earshot would light into me, telling me how stupid I was for thinking that colour was scarlet when it was really this other colour.....and this person would leave, thinking that I was an idiot for not knowing the difference between cherry and scarlet.
What I just described has never actually happened.  But there have been many times when things that I have said were taken, not just out of context, but to another planet.  Now, after getting myself into a few painful social situations that have left some scars, I did eventually learn how to Watch. My. Words.  This does mean that I don't give nearly as many compliments as I used to, and I definitely don't gush the way I used to, at least not as often.  And when I do give compliments, it's always "Nice dress/coat/tie/whatever."  Which is to the benefit of the person I'm complimenting.  And when I was a teenager, I gushed too much anyways.